Host or Guest
Can I bring a friend?
THE THOUGHT: What makes a good party?
Sarah Beth Spraggins
I asked readers about how they assess a party’s quality as guests. A lot of responses focused on the host actually playing host — an old-fashioned expectation that we should bring back:
Lyndi Tsering
If you can effectively cultivate a social environment where I can engage at whatever level of mood I’m in, it’s a good party. For example, if I’m in the mood to just sit and have an intense gossip session with one person in a corner and slowly slip my drink, I can. But then I can go into another room and be drunk and dance. Having any entry point of energy you wanna output at the function without feeling like you’re being judged or observed by others, to me that makes a party good.
My biggest annoyance is when a host invites random people who don’t have anything in common and then doesn’t introduce everybody. I think it’s really important to introduce people. Just to break the ice.
Klementyna
There are a few types of parties in DC. The Who’s Who party: This is the one that can double as a networking event and at least one person there works for Booz Allen. You know the host because he was your friend’s grad school roommate but parties aren’t as good anymore because the rest of your friend group didn’t get the invite. College 2.0: Everyone is crammed into a small apartment but there is a lot of food and drinks. People actually want to talk to you and networking isn’t the goal. Small Group: 10-15 at most and everyone seems to know everyone else. This could be something like a quarterly dinner party or Friendsgiving. The host might use this party as a way to introduce their new significant other to their friend group. Under normal circumstances these parties are the most fun.
Grace Weinstein (Read Who Broke It )
It’s my opinion that unless it’s a potluck or that you’ve explicitly asked someone to help you with something ahead of time, guests really shouldn’t lift a finger. It defeats the point of hosting! I love telling my friends to sit the fuck down and lounge instead of helping me in the kitchen, even if it adds to my stress.
Adam Amin
A theme, and not a lame one like dress like its y2k or a slumber party. I have an ‘auction’ party next week.
Keith
Loud music, dim lights, NO Partiful, late start time. And two clean bathrooms.
Nicole Patrice
The best parties have really well curated people with good energy. Don’t let shitty people in– we all know who they are. Bathroom must be clean. I do appreciate it if they have a little area where people can smoke cigarettes. And I am expecting glassware.
Sarah Beth Spraggins edits Secret Ballot.
THE FEELING: Twin Hosting
Diana Brown
Hosting a birthday party for one’s twin — as my sister and I did, alternating years throughout high school and college — is an illuminating pleasure. “Double the trouble, double the fun” gets the mathematics wrong. I was both host and honored guest, giver and receiver. Everyone there for her was there for me, too. A star without the residue of “self.” Twinship recalls how philosopher Luce Irigaray contrasts female genitalia against the solipsistic phallus: “We are luminous. Neither one nor two. I’ve never known how to count.”
She was born first. Her absence left me spinning and I came out blue.
